For those of you who don’t speak abbreviation soup (and it took me 5 minutes to remember the word abbreviation), those would be Activities of Daily Living.
Yeah, I’m starting to get big fails on those. Open a jar of spaghetti sauce: Fail. Opening a bottle of juice: Fail. Lift up a 2L bottle of water out of the refrigerator: Fail. Do a load of laundry without stopping at least twice to rest: Fail. Getting out of bed without a chair there to support myself: Fail. Walking steps normally: Fail.
Everything takes ten times longer. Except for showers. I’ve got those down to a 4 minute science. The water hitting my skin hurts too much.
I feel like one big failure. I can’t even reach up to the top of the white board. I’m limited to about eye height.
I know stress is making things worse. But I’m seriously trying not to kill people at work. If all goes well, I’m out of there in two weeks. I may break down and beg the new school to let me sign a contract earlier and work on other things (oye, I think I’m the IT person now) before I’d actually start teaching.
Saw my p-doc yesterday. He’s concerned that I may be having episodes of hypoglycemia. He even gave me four rolls of glucose tablets. I don’t know if this is part of the fibro or not. But he’s thinking that the panic attacks I’ve been having are more to do with my blood sugar bottoming out.
It doesn’t help that I have no appetite. I have to force myself to eat, and then only because they serve dinner at work. I usually eat about a quarter cup of rice and maybe the soup if it doesn’t look too seaweed-ish (don’t get me wrong, I like seaweed, but only in its dried form).
And if you’re wondering, starting an IV on a dehydrated, hypotensive, hypothermic patient is a whole lot of fun. Something like 15 sticks to get it in. Amazingly, the only place I bruised is where they finally got it in on the side of my foot.
And since I haven’t eaten all day (yeah, I know), I’m shaking and dizzy and starting to feel panicky, I’m going to try one of these whopping tablet things.
What the heck. A small burst of energy? As in I got up and did stuff before work. Even the day went quickly. Also found out the teacher I replaced did not do the debates in the book called “Exploring Debate”. Uhm, yeah. I kind of though that was the purpose.
I only had to go off on one student today. She decided it would be fun to shred paper during class. Everyone else left and I handed her the broom and told her to sweep it up. We have to clean our classrooms every night. Because I spend the bulk of my time running around, mine never gets dirty enough to *really* need swept every night. I do it usually on MWF. But damn if I was going to waste my precious energy on sweeping up because the kid (a middle schooler) was too bored to pay attention.
There, now I feel better.
My orthopedist did the lido shot into my worst trigger points. I had been able to live with them (for the most part) until I woke up this morning and couldn’t get out of bed. My lower back muscles were in spasms. I could barely turn over onto my side so I could try to swing my legs out. Luckily there’s a chair close enough that I could use that to push myself up. On ultrasound, he found quite a bit of inflammation (might have been on the low side since I’ve been eating Motrin for the joint pain) in my shoulder and put some lidocaine in there too. At least I can now lift my right arm over my head. It’ll make teaching a whole lot easier.
Dr. P has demanded I go back to Dr. H (the rheumy) and get back on the Cymbalta, Gabapentin and possibly Mobic. Pain = no sleep. No sleep = anxiety. Anxiety = bawling my eyes out at work.
I actually got some cereal into me for breakfast. I did a little bit of shopping on my way back from the ortho. I got some rice, some dried seaweed and some kimchi so I can pick at little stuff.
Now I’m doing laundry. The hose from the washer runs to the sink, so I’ll figure out cooking later. I have bread, butter and jam so maybe I’ll get a little bit of that into me when the laundry is done.
I couldn’t give three shits about Halloween. Put this new theme seems perfect.
I saw both p-doc and rheumy last week. P-doc added Lexapro back in the mix and is possibly trying to kill me with benzos. No, I kid you not. He’s got me on Ativan, Klonopin and Valium. I’m not sure what he’s thinking. And at the moment, I don’t care. Since starting this new combo I’ve been having panic attacks, which seems nearly impossible with the benzo load I’m on. I’m hoping it’s just a new job/moving/pain reaction.
Speaking of pain, rheumy discontinued the Tramadol. After one night of pain, I promptly said, screw that and took the Tramadol I bought with me. 6.5 hours of straight teaching plus a walk to and from work leads to pain. He also cut the Gabapentin from 900 mg to 200 mg. We’re going to have a chat about that. I suppose the panic could be related to these meds changes, but see benzo combo above… He also tested me for Rheumatoid Arthritis. Since the cat scratch, I’ve had terrible pain in my small joints. I also have a history of chronically high inflammatory markers. Not to mention, there’s the family history of RA. I’ll get my results Wednesday.
I’m going to sign off as typing hurts. :-(