The weather is kicking my ass.  Literally.  My tail bone hurts so bad.  I’ve never had pain in my tail bone.  It really sucks.  It hurts to sit and it hurts to lay.

I’m dealing with extreme fatigue and loopiness.  Yeah, loopiness.  I’m no better than a village idiot.  I tried working on my Fortran course and well, it was a disaster to say the least.  I changed my code a little bit but then I couldn’t remember how to compile the damn program.  This is something I’ve been doing in one form or another for years.  It’s like all my knowledge just vanished into thin air.  Just writing this is something.  I can’t think of the word.  It makes me feel so pathetic.

Recently I can’t stop crying.  I throw up, I cry.  I try to sleep, I cry.  I sit, I cry.  And the things I used to use to make me feel better (reading, studying, art) are beyond me now.  I look at the sketch pad and my mind goes blank.  I read the same paragraph over and over.  I don’t even want to be around the kitties.  Their paws hurt me.  Gidgette cries outside my door because I latch it instead of leaving it propped open so she can come in at night.  Sometimes I give in because I feel guilty.  Other times I’m too tired and too sore to even get out of bed, so I leave her out there.  What a horrible pet mamma am I?

So what was I saying?  Oh yes.  The weather.  I’d take those horrible 90+ degree days over the rain.  Rain doesn’t seem to bother me unless I’m in a flare.  And I’m in one hell of a flare right now.

I’ve pretty much exhausted my energy with this.  I managed to get toast with a tiny bit of peanut butter down a while ago.  I think I’m going to try to take a walk.  It’s not raining at the moment…


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