This infection has really taken a toll on my body.  I have zero energy.  Sometimes getting from my bed to the bathroom is just exhausting.  Sometimes all I can do is cry because I’m so tired.  The only consolation is that there is very little pain going on right now, aside from my knee.

Is it frustrating?  Hell yes.  I sleep at night, but all day I’m awake.  Now that’s probably a good thing, but I barely have the energy to move.  I know I should try to get out an exercise, but getting down (and then back up the steps) takes forever given my knee.

I’m not sure what’s worse, the physical or the mental fatigue.  My brain feels like mush.  I could take my computer and stay in bed and work on my Fortran course or learning XCode or whatnot.  But I can barely concentrate on stupid TV.  It would be one thing if I were taking the pain meds.  But I’m not.  In fact I took half of one a bit ago for the first time in days.

So I’ll keep on keeping on.  Not much other choice in the matter.  If I need to cry, I’ll let myself cry.  And that’s a big thing for me.  I don’t cry.


Cats and Legs and Knees, Oh My

Hello flare up.  Why?  Oh cat scratch, infection in my leg and knee and knee surgery.

I’m tired but I can’t sleep and I hurt.  Acute pain on top of chronic pain must be one of the worst things in the world.

I am so overwhelmed with life right now.  I don’t know which way is up right now.  To add to the fun, I have to start PT next week for my knee.  I don’t wanna.  I don’t want to deal with the pain.  I know if I don’t the pain will never go away.

So tired.  Just so tired.